What you read is copyrighted and owned by me so if you share please be sure to tag me. It is also subject to change and may be different in the published version.... so without further ado..... I give you Chapter One!
Prologue
Fight or
Flight. That instinctual mechanism designed to save us, to make the decision to
fight your fear or flee from it. When the demons of your past are back from
hell, beating on your door, ready to claim you. Are you going to fight or a
flight? I am a runner. I tried to run as fast as I can to the point my muscles
are screaming in agony, feeling like someone lit them on fire. But despite my
best efforts, no matter how fast I run, how much I push through, the monster
always seems to catch me.
Chapter
One
Loud screaming
startled me awake. I quickly sat up looking around to find the person being
tortured and terrorized. I was tucked safely in my bed, I could see the slate
grey walls, the abstract photos of sunflowers Bryant hung knowing they are my
favorite, lying underneath by down comforter in our big king sized sleigh bed. My
eyes caught on Bryant standing beside the bed gasping for air as if he’d just
finished a marathon. His chest glistening with sweat as he rested his weight on
his knees trying to pull in air. Standing up to his full six foot stature he
ran his hand through his short brown hair as he brought his eyes to meet mine.
Looking into their depths, I could see the fear and worry flitting across his
handsome chiseled face as the caramel color of his eyes became overtaken by the
black of his pupils.
“What’s
wrong? Who was screaming?” I asked completely perplexed at what awoke me.
“Rose.
Honey. You were screaming. You scared
the ever-loving shit out of me! I was watching some TV when your scream made my
heart seize. I came racing up the stairs as fast as I could,” Bryant
breathlessly answered.
Well crap,
nightmares were back. I’m not sure if I’m relieved I forget them the instant I
wake up or not. Regardless, I was really hoping that Bryant would never have to
deal with the consequences of that night. With the terrors that haunted me to
this day. Bryant’s eyes continued searching mine for an answer as my brain
scrambled in it’s fuzzy state to come up with something to release me from his
prying gaze.
“Just a
nightmare. No worries. That damn horror movie you made me watch the other
night. You know how I get with scary stuff!” I tried with a half hearted smile
to relive the tension the room was filling with.
Bryant
reached his hand up to my face, leaning into it I let out a sigh. How long
could I keep this secret from him? I had hoped forever. I didn’t want him to
find out what Darren stole from me, it will change everything between us. Leaning
towards me for a kiss, I felt the lingering effects of the nightmare as my body
trembled, it wasn’t ready to be intimate with Bryant. Swinging my legs off the
bed I ducked out from under his reach, letting out a cough to help with my
excuse to dodge his lips that I typically adored and devoured.
“I’m
going to run downstairs and get a glass of water. Why don’t you hop in the
shower now so we can snuggle up when I get back,” I tossed over my shoulder as
Bryant stood there watching me walk away.
Downstairs
I stepped into the guest bathroom. Looking in the mirror I recognized the
flushed cheeks and dilated pupils. The reflection of a terrified girl staring
back at me that I seemed incapable of escaping. Reaching down I turned on the
cold water and splashed my face hoping to cool my cheeks and help my heart rate
return to a more normal rhythm. Knowing my time was limited I pulled myself
together and got back to my bedroom.
Stepping
in the room the sound of the shower as it was still running dominated the room,
with the steam seeping out of the en suite bathroom and filling the room. The vapors
swirling along the soft plush caret, making me feel as if I was walking on
clouds back to my big sleigh bed I shared with Bryant. Climbing under the down
comforter I shifted my pillows to allow myself to comfortably sit up a minute
as I reached for my phone to type out a quick text.
R: Hey
Les – wanna grab lunch tomorrow? I need a therapy session with my best friend!
Looking back at the bathroom door, it was cracked
open enough to let a stream of light seep into the bedroom keeping the
separation from awake and asleep tangible. Bryant off-tune voice singing ‘Kiss
me Softly’ drifted out helping to soothe me further, letting me get lost in the
memories of reconnecting with him over the
last few months. My phone vibrated in my hand, and I saw a reply from my best
friend, Leslie.
L: Of
course, you know I’ve always got time for you. Plus we got some wedding stuff
to sort out! See you at noon you pick the place!
Locking my phone I set it back on the
nightstand just as the shower shut off. Not wanting to resume the
interrogation, I quickly lie down and shift to my side, pulling the comforter
up to my chin to encapsulate me. The light switch clicked off, dousing the room
in darkness. I felt the fear attempt to grab hold of me again. As the bed
dipped to Bryant’s side I breathed a sigh of relief, two strong arms wrapped
around me, pulling me in to Bryant’s warm body. Dragging in a deep breathe,
Bryant’s woodsy smell filled my nose helping my brain relax completely so I
could attempt to drift off to sleep again, this time with my hero to protect me
from the monsters that haunted my subconscious.
“I love you, Rose” Bryant softly whispered
in my ear, sadness lingering in his tone as he placed a kiss on my neck. I
could tell by the tone of his voice, he knew he was being kept in the dark and
it was hurting him. Hurting him, hurt me. It sucked.
Rolling over I looked into his eyes
searching for the courage to tell him about my nightmare. While I didn’t
remember the one I had just had, the real version was a scar that would never
heal, a memory that would never leave me. The nerves balled in my throat
choking me and preventing me from speaking out loud. Searching his eyes he
looked at me lovingly with adoration, I was his. From day one, Bryant thought
me to be an innocent. We had been through so much over the course of our
relationship, I just wasn’t confident we could survive any more obstacles in
our path.
“I love you too, Bryant. Always and
Forever,” I placed three sweet kisses on his lips. Our tradition. Three kisses every
time. One for the past, one for today, and one for the future.
Rolling back over I could feel the terrors
of my past latching back into me, inescapable. I would never be free of the
past it seemed, as much as my heart begged to move on and enjoy my bliss. My
phone buzzed on the nightstand beside me. Bryant let out a sigh as he sank
further into the bed and drifted to sleep. I swiped the phone to check it real
fast to find a text from a blocked number.
COMING FOR A VISIT, SEE YOU SOON.
I'd LOVE to hear what you think - Comment below and share your thoughts :)
I'd LOVE to hear what you think - Comment below and share your thoughts :)
OYE! OYE! OYE!!!!! He better stay away!!!!
ReplyDeleteI LOVED Expired Regrets! can't wait to read Secret Regrets!!!!!!
ReplyDelete